When Dave and the new lads get in on Friday, if asked by anyone, I would have some simple words of advice: get the loonies under control and quickly. Make sure your Chief Whip has balls of steel. Get the backwoodsmen and shire Tories to bark to order, not roam ferally in packs. Stifle discontent immediately. And listen, above all, listen to your senior civil servants. They've been in place for longer than anyone; and many, if not most, are reasonably sympathetic to your cause, especially if they can foist any cuts on to other departments. But the cuts will come whomsoever gets into office and they are realist enough to know this.

FFS man, didn't you ever watch Yes minister? Never trust the civil service, they charge too much and hold too much power, sack them all, privatise the lot ;)