Top Gear?

Am doing a version of 'Red Light Spells Danger' by Billy Ocean for Comic relief. Band is as follows:
Guitar: Self
Keys: Simon (from the function band)
Keys: James May (Who did a degree at the Royal Northern College of Music - Piano his instrument)
Bass: Richard Hammond (Who is actually V.Good and played in bands at school etc)
Drums: Jeremy Clarkson (Who has had seven lessons)
Vocals: Justin Hawkins (of the Darkness, who's a surprisingly good bloke, and plays Drums, Keys, Bass etc - bleeding sickening)
+ three serious good, pro backing singers.
MD (musical director) is Martin (drummer in the function band and JC's chum).
This could be a disaster of unbelievable proportions, and worse, going out on telly. The song slows down and drags, JC misses the fills and sometimes the bass drum isn't quite in time. To his credit JC having realised how difficult a task he has ahead, and is knuckling down and trying v hard.
He is also a much nicer bloke than he appears on Telly, and takes the piss out of himself adroitly.
This could still be a major disaster - which is what makes it fun. Those guys were evidently a band waiting to happen, they just hadn't got around to it until now.
Very Rock 'n' Roll vibe. After fifteen renditions of the song, we got it sounding all right, really.
Ah well, we'll fix it in the mix.