Saw this...

www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/apr/15/sajid-javid-i-could-have-had-a-life-of-crime

Wherein Mr Javid says he could have led a life of crime, rather than "going straight" and becoming Home Secretary.

The one-liners simply write themselves...

Disaster, catastrophe

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/apr/15/notre-dame-fire-paris-france-cathedral

Dear god no!

The spire has collapsed. Oh gods. Unbearable loss.

I grieve for France. If we can help with the rebuilding, we must.