(no subject)

[johnny9fingers]

Thanks to conversation of the virtual kind with kdotdammit(Bless her) I considered the sex lives of comic book superheroes.

I'd love to open this debate up to all and sundry....

It started with Reed Richards, Mr Fantastic.
Now honestly, if you could stretch your appendages and warp and mould your body into any shape imaginable, you'd spend all your time in bed masturbating in unusual and obscure ways, or you'd be a porn star.

And, as I have little else to occupy my time excepting stuff I'd rather avoid, like forms or work or such, from there I thought more.

Let us take the example of Superman.
Faster than a speeding bullet etc, stronger than a locomotive....
His ejaculation would probably penetrate battleship armour plating. There's just no way Lois Lane could get on the end of that without becoming bedroom geography. Or wallpaper. Superman's first fuck would end in someone's death (don't point that thing in my direction). Even him wanking is liable to turn the environment into a body armour only area.

As for girls that fancy 'Swamp Thing'...I'd rather not go there if it's all the same to you.

Comments

[ankh156.livejournal.com]

LOL !

[kdotdammit.livejournal.com]

I don't know a lot about comic book characters but I like to think about monsters I'd fuck. Dracula! He is soooooo sexy. C'mon Todd Browning's Dracula is all about sex. And also, much more even than comic book heros or monsters, I like to think about fucking the bad guys. It's not the heros that entice me, but the bad, mean, troubled, sexually confused bad guys they're after . . . that's all I'm saying. Too busy at work to think more on it, but I was happy for a moment of digression.

[johnny9fingers.livejournal.com]

Bad girls.....I think I know what you mean, but I'm trying to think of a bad girl that really 'did it' for me. I always had a secret hankering for Mrs Emma Peel, who was much more of a heroine. no-one springs to mind at present, but I'll trawl the memory bank and do my best to come up with something by tomorrow.

[kdotdammit.livejournal.com]

Emma Peel is the absolute sex bomb and I don't even like turtle necks!

[johnny9fingers.livejournal.com]

Not qute heroines not quite baddies.
Anjelica Huston as Morticia Addams.
Adora Belle Dearheart in Pratchett's 'Going Postal'.

Probably Catwoman too, but I'm stretching the brain here.

[e-compass-rosa.livejournal.com]

Catwoman is definitely the stuff of lots of fantasy. Well, to me at least.

[johnny9fingers.livejournal.com]

You do have good taste.

[kdotdammit.livejournal.com]

Anjelica Huston -- also sex bomb. Apparently we have the same taste in women.

[johnny9fingers.livejournal.com]

Possibly, but these are all archetypes of a kind. In reality I have a tendency to fall for academic women. Normally (but not exclusively) literary or classics based. (Clever women are so much more imaginative, and I have little time for meaningless boredom.)
But actually, all the heroic/villainous women mentioned are known for intelligence and wit too. Clever assertive women dressed like that....I've gone to heaven my dear.

[e-compass-rosa.livejournal.com]

So, it is impossible to read this post, and then go and read the superhero entry in wikipedia without an entirely new slant on it all. A few examples:

--a superhero is full"of unprecedented, physical prowess dedicated to acts of derring-do in the public interest.”
--Extraordinary powers and abilities, relevant skills, and/or advanced equipment.
--Captain America however does process above-human endurance and an immunity to certain diseases
--Most superheroes use a descriptive or metaphoric code name for their public deeds.
--Form-fitting clothing, often referred to as tights or Spandex, although the exact material is usually not identified. Such material displays a character’s athletic build and heroic sex appeal..

And on and on.

[johnny9fingers.livejournal.com]

Well I didn't want to get into the old 'What's the question to which the answer is Cock Robin? (What's that up my arse, Batman?)' scenario.
We all know Batman likes young men...what we don't know is if he needs to wear the rubber underwear in order to get his jollies.

[e-compass-rosa.livejournal.com]

"And as for girls that fancy 'Swamp Thing' --

[johnny9fingers.livejournal.com]

Well she looks like she's having fun, at least. Am reminded of the dog that Horse Badories bought along with the bus...'don't touch the dog man, you'll never get clean.'

[johnny9fingers.livejournal.com]

And I wan't being rude about the Girl in the photo....just her date.

[tripinthehead33.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't want an expandable thing. It would really reduce the urge to learn how to use what I have better. Just like all of those guys at the parties I used to have at my old apartments, bragging about their big units. Their girlfriends never seem terribly impressed like you would think they should be given the boasts. There was never any denial about the size mentioned, just about the effect it had. Growing yourself a 16" penis isn't a guarantee to pleasure for the other person involved necessarily. I do believe that would lead to a total lack of understanding in how to please a woman.

Superman is a different story. If he were really super, he would be able to control himself, no? Otherwise, he's just "way too rough" man, and that's not super at all. That's just sadism on a limited scale.

Swamp thing would go for Rosanne Barr. Ted Arnold would get jealous and wonder what the difference was. The public would wonder as well.

[johnny9fingers.livejournal.com]

Reed Richards.
Not just his penis, but his tongue, fingers, other bits....stppling the surfaces that touch etc, no, that guy wouldn't ever get out of bed - don't forget, a genius (as RR is portrayed) slaved to the pleasure principle is still going to have some creativity to spare. Hell, he could even grow another fake one alongside if he wanted. Or Boobs. Or whatever the heel he felt like.

It's not just the size he can mess with, is what I'm saying.

What about the super villains?
Does Doc Doom get out of his Armour? Is Lex Luthor a Masochist? Two-Face certainly has problems that I'm only beginning to speculate upon.

[johnny9fingers.livejournal.com]

Oh wow....the Flash....he's gotta have the old superspeed thing going on as he gets to his orgasm. I which case his poor womanfriend would need the sort of lubricating abilities of an Indycar engine. Poor thing.
I have DK2, and you're right about the Supes/WW connection and offspring.
Thinking about it there's also a reference to them doing such in DK Returns. But that's more about Genealogy than whether it's actually possible (or desirable) for superhero types to shag.

[ericcoleman]

There is an essay called something like Man Of Steel, Woman Of Kleenex written by ... hmmm ... might have been Larry Niven, but I am too lazy to go look it up at the moment. You can probably find it on the net. Read it ...

[johnny9fingers.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the pointer m'dear. Sounds more like Philip Jose Farmer (who specialised in such things) than Larry Niven. I will buy it in hardback when I find it, anyway, but will read it first.

[ericcoleman]

The house here says Niven ... it's brilliant

it's just an essay, and I don't know that it is available easily ...

[johnny9fingers.livejournal.com]

I'll search abe books.
Nice to know it is Niven. I have a shelf-load of his work that I haven't as yet got around to cataloging.

[ericcoleman]

I play at SF conventions a lot (a whole lot). One of the most nervous shows I have ever had was because he was sitting in the front row.

[johnny9fingers.livejournal.com]

To be candid, I wouldn't know what he looked like.
You sing/play and are a stand-up comedian?
Interesting combination of skills. I'll have to catch your act next time I'm over. Fortune favour you.