Nah, I don't think I could even get to the cottaging stage: guys just aren't my thing. But it's good to know that. It's about fancying, I suppose. The only bad thing (for me) about Gay sex is the sex bit. It is astonishing that one can do a whole heap of weird and wonderful things with women, and then noticing that none of it works with a chap, and that you'd really rather be somewhere else, and manners prevent you; and worse, that manners prevent you from letting the other fellow know this isn't exactly one's cup of tea. There are some situations I wouldn't advise anyone to get into.
By nature I'm ridiculously uxorious. When I've had mistresses alongside girlfriends I've become confused. I'm happier in a monogamous relationship excepting if it's not much of a relationship.
It must be difficult when the only real love of your life is a chap, and it all went 'tits up'. My godfathers seem to have lasted the course for more than fifty years: my longest relationship, with Sandra, lasted six-and-a-half years: mainly because we were a bridge partnership and had started doing well in competitions. But we took the card table into the bedroom with us, if you get my meaning, and that changed the dynamic of the relationship. Ice in the bedroom is all very well, but I soon found myself with a 'bit on the side'. In my younger days I was much attached to exercise and testosterone and frustration would tend to build up: the fact that Sandra had also set an unfortunate precedent by sleeping with someone else early in our relationship gave me leave to follow whichever well-turned ankle caught my eye.
I suppose I do co-dependancy in a limited fashion. Boundaries are important. Apparently some chaps read their wives letters: what if it's come from an admirer? or a lover? How vulgar.
My problem is I have an ideal of a relationship of equals who are together because they want to be; because they choose it above other things. Stupid, romantic and juvenile though it is, it still informs my decision making and understanding.
I really should grow up m'dear. I hope the illness is responding to treatment. May you find the relationship which suits you at the distance you feel comfortable with. I slept in a single bed with Sandra for 5 years: I can bear closeness. I wish I hadn't behaved badly, however: no matter what the provocation or precedent. I should adhere to my standards whatever.
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timeasmymeasure
Re: Heart's Ease
Date: 2008-02-21 10:46 am (UTC)By nature I'm ridiculously uxorious. When I've had mistresses alongside girlfriends I've become confused. I'm happier in a monogamous relationship excepting if it's not much of a relationship.
It must be difficult when the only real love of your life is a chap, and it all went 'tits up'. My godfathers seem to have lasted the course for more than fifty years: my longest relationship, with Sandra, lasted six-and-a-half years: mainly because we were a bridge partnership and had started doing well in competitions. But we took the card table into the bedroom with us, if you get my meaning, and that changed the dynamic of the relationship. Ice in the bedroom is all very well, but I soon found myself with a 'bit on the side'. In my younger days I was much attached to exercise and testosterone and frustration would tend to build up: the fact that Sandra had also set an unfortunate precedent by sleeping with someone else early in our relationship gave me leave to follow whichever well-turned ankle caught my eye.
I suppose I do co-dependancy in a limited fashion. Boundaries are important. Apparently some chaps read their wives letters: what if it's come from an admirer? or a lover? How vulgar.
My problem is I have an ideal of a relationship of equals who are together because they want to be; because they choose it above other things. Stupid, romantic and juvenile though it is, it still informs my decision making and understanding.
I really should grow up m'dear.
I hope the illness is responding to treatment.
May you find the relationship which suits you at the distance you feel comfortable with.
I slept in a single bed with Sandra for 5 years: I can bear closeness. I wish I hadn't behaved badly, however: no matter what the provocation or precedent. I should adhere to my standards whatever.