Evidently Spring is in the air.

[johnny9fingers]

A virtual chum, vox_diabolica, said in a comment to an earlier post (and I paraphrase) that he found it strange that his generation should be more 'traditional' than the one preceding it, which is the one to which I belong.
Admittedly, he's a Christian of a sophisticated kind, which would render him somewhat narrower of scope in some respects than a chap who left school to be a guitarist and sleep in a squat, but even so....
But I do find, the openness with which I grew up has been stifled in so many ways.
The polymorphous perversity of the seventies was an odd place and odd time, but it informed my live and let live attitude. When it came to drugs and sex I was an experimentalist, and to some extent, still am. Too old for white drugs I still smoke weed. Though I am at present chaste, it is not through choice: I never seem to meet appropriate women, and though I've tried the 'other thing' (it is necessary to know, you know) I found that it didn't suit, alas and alack: it will not do for me. Few (if indeed any) men are attractive, and almost all women are. It appears you can't change the way you're made, and I'm too bloody old to dissemble without feeling irritated.
So, I'm reluctantly heterosexual.
Reluctantly chaste.
And probably bored beyond human ken, but still, somewhere at the end of the bell-curve.....

Hope is one of those awful human emotional virii, like shingles it can strike when totally unawares: but maybe just down the Street, or around the corner....

Comments

Heart's Ease

[ankh156.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty much the same as you, except that my own homosexual dalliance turns out to have been the only 'true love story' of my existence. Nevertheless, I, like you, adhere to feminine canons of beauty and don't think I'll be out 'cottaging' for another boy soon. Co-dependancy is the problem, and it's a distaste for this particular weakness which has inoculated me against the 'eternal springing' of 'hope'. I meet nice women all the time (increasingly too young, it seems... "time's arrow" and all that) and have even been chased-down in the last few years, but the idea of trips to the supermarket, regular shared meals and the dynamics of moods is enough to have me nailing the door shut. I suppose with a bedroom at each end of a large house, of which some formally defined shared spaces could be deliniated for use on a strictly optional basis... Be it known that I like to sleep alone, and 'company' is so nice when it's chosen... Problem is, when it isn't, it's war.

WILL
LOVE

clvi

[winterlion.livejournal.com]

I think it's that the rebels have always been harder to find than most people expect... and some of it just do it easier than others.

The "lax time" made it too easy to be conservative. Too much freedom ends up with some demanding jack boots - and some just a good swift kick. *sigh*

I like being one of the rebels, even though most don't realize it. I look around sometimes and don't realize how Strange my life's been. Also - while I haven't experimented with drugs (much) - other things? I guess not "experiment" so much as "fell into" but it's not such a stretch.